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April 22nd, 2007
09:52 pm - let's chat
Wow. My life has been the busiest ever. I like it though. I still really like my job. I thought the feeling would have slipped away by now, but it's great. I feel like I bring a fresh and positive element to that place too. It's nice to feel like you matter. They sent me out to Rochester for two weeks. I got really lucky because the guy that came with me from our branch was soooo great. We've become pretty close now and I'm pretty happy with that. I made all these great people from all across the country and for once I was the outgoing one. I always say I've changed, but this made me sure of it. I felt like I was a magnet. Everyone wanted to be around me at all times. I don't know how it all happened, but I came back feeling like I was so cool. On top of that, I never really did much studying and I scored #1 in our training class. Suck on that. It was cool. I still talk to a lot of people from the training and it's nice to know I've got about 20 places across the country that I could visit or something. Our flight back was delayed so john decided we were getting intoxicated. Being on a plane drunk is really silly and fun. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Oh. We played lazer tag and it was awesome. Team Paychex owns.
This week was all sorts of crazy. The flooding was so bad on monday that it prevented me from actually getting to work. Tuesday I went in and started to feel really sick. I tried to make it until 5, but at 445, I pretty much puked up my soul. I left and threw up on the way home. Once I got home I threw up 5 more times. I missed work the next two days and worked on friday. They moved my desk. I am no longer the new kid. That's cool.
Last night I went with tay to bar A. I don't think it's possible for me to not have a good time anymore. I feel like I am constantly laughing so hard and doing silly things. Every time I feel like it's not going to be a fun night, it always flips. That's pretty cool. Maybe I'm just lucky.
I looooove not working on sundays. I never really do anything. I love it though. Not having to deal with the whitest of white trash at applebee's is priceless. I went out to eat with the family today and that was fine. Yes it was.
My birthday is on thursday and I really didn't care about it. I'm turning 24 and that's pretty much the dumbest age ever. I'm probably just going out to dinner with the family. Friday is Jenk's and I sent out a big fat text and everyone sounded so excited which made me excited. Is that stupid? No way. It's awesome.
I'm starting to really love waking up early. I like that on the weekends I don't sleep past 10. I'm used to going to bed with the sun and waking up at 3pm to get ready for a 5pm shift. There's no way that's mentally healthy for you. I can't even remember the last time I stayed up until the sun came up. That's soooo good. It used to be every night. I have about an hour until bedtime now so I'm gonna get on that.
It's been lovely chatting out loud to myself.
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April 20th, 2007
10:32 pm - i just keep thinking...
I'm not feeling the best this week, but I just have to say something.
I don't want to try to sound profound or anything like that... but here goes. I think it is really really REALLY important to like yourself. I don't think you have to love yourself to death. You don't have to be conceited either. It's just really important to like yourself. I used to not like myself. That was a long time ago though. Nowadays, I think I'm pretty great. I know other people see it too and that's even better. I feel like I can pretty much get through anything without completely falling apart. Even when things are really getting to me, I have all these things to fall back on. I know when I go somewhere certain people are really glad I'm there. I know that in times of need a million people know they count on me. I guess that's where all the karma goes. I've had bad things happen to me. I've had good things happen to me. I think my ability to handle the worst situations with grace is why I like myself the most. If you've ever seen me really yell and get angry, good job. It's not easy to do. Basically, a lot of people will talk themselves up and say how great they are, but I wonder how many truly believe it. I know some people will never feel the way I do. I know other people might think I'm the corniest person alive. (yea... you got me) No matter what though... I feel like I win every time. It sounds sooo stupid, but it's true. I know I can walk out of just about anything knowing that it's going to be fine. I don't owe it to God or politics or my parents... only me. I think that's why I'm pretty great. That's all. I'll give a real life update when I can.
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March 19th, 2007
09:39 pm - quick update...
-my new job is seriously great
-i really love my friends
-i though i would suck at school this time, but i am owning.
-saint patrick's day = awesome
-dudes are confusing. i'm totally juggling right now and i don't want to.
-i am leaving on sunday and going to rochester for 2 weeks.
-my coworkers are more fun than I thought they would be.
-i don't enjoy manipulative people and I'm glad I can spot them.
-i passed that crazy test. i don't know how, but i did.
-i didn't cry for 3 months and then I did twice in the same week.
-i prefer lowercase to begin my sentences.
-email is the new IM.
-let's say you did cocaine for 5 years. would you tell someone that upon first meeting? i didn't think so.
-i do the most weird things when i'm by myself.
-i look forward to my morning commute.
-i'm half terrified to be alone for two weeks.
-i get to go to niagra falls for the weekend.
-i always say i don't want more friends, but i still really enjoy getting to know new people.
-i sleep like a real person these days.
-it's bedtime.
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February 22nd, 2007
04:05 am - yea..
I'm awake because I'm really nervous about this big fatty test on friday. I think all my professors and family and everyone ever born expects me to get like a perfect score. I'm just hoping I pass it. I really don't feel all that prepared. Then I was looking at the description to see what I need to bring and I got even more freaked out. It says they scan your fingerprints for verification and you cannot bring anything at all with you expect for ID and a calculator which can only be one of three specific types. Upon arrival they will reset your calculator and hold the cover to ensure no cheating. They provide you with pencils because I guess even pencils leak answers at times. There are 30 questions and you get 3 hours to complete the exam. That means 6 minutes a question which should be fine. While you only need 18/30 correct to pass... on average only 25-30% pass the exam. I think that sounds scary. This is only exam 1 out of 10. I don't want to see me on 10. I wish I had just one more day. I'm pretty sure this and my driving test are the only tests I've ever been this nervous about. I usually keep my cool. I sort of wish I never won that scolarship. It's way too much pressure to always be the best. This is what I love though. What did I do this whole time I was unemployed? I am confused.
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February 21st, 2007
03:35 pm - we've been through a lot..
Valerie Gibbs, the big girl... part 2
I try to update in here every now and then because I like to look back on it all. I have my own journal too, but this is convenient. Maybe someone, somewhere wants to know what I've been up to. Go ahead. Here it is.
I have had a roller coaster of a life the last few weeks. I will start with my most interesting story. A lot of people know it, but it's pretty crazy.
A couple of Thursday's ago, I went to Mikey's house after class. We were deciding what to do. We used to all go to New Brunswick, but there were a lot of people going to Court Jester. We decided to go to New Brunswick, but then I found out that Tayzia was going to Court Jester instead, so I changed my mind. I had a warrant out for my arrest for missing a court date 100% by accident. I didn't have the money for it, but the next morning I would have more than enough to take care of it. Mikey was going to bring his car, but it had been giving him problems so we took my car, but he drove. We get there and have fun. We leave and he decides to take 18 home which i think is silly, but he said he wanted to avoid the cops on 9. Once we finally get onto 9, a cop starts following us. He runs my plates and pulls us over. He asks for my stuff and the insurance card is nowhere to be found. I had switched bags that night and failed to remember my insurance card. I have gotten 4 tickets already for this in my lifetime. I am an idiot. So I tell the cop and he asks for my license. He then tells me I have 2 warrants (which I found out later was actually only one) out for my arrest totaling $800. I'm thinking that he's being nice and letting me go, but before I knew it he was putting handcuffs on me. They're telling Mikey they have to tow my car while he's trying to get in touch with the insurance company. They just drive away with me leaving him there with my car. I freak out. Luckily, I had my phone in my coat pocket so I slip it out and go through recent texts. I find spencer who I had just spoken to and wrote, "I just got arrested." I knew I only had one chance to do something with my phone before I would get in trouble. He called me up right away and I just told him to call Mikey because he needed help. Then the cop said I couldn't use my phone anymore. The cop that arrested me was super cool. I told him flat out that I would be his easiest arrest ever. He told me some girl tried to fight him last week. He goes to take off the cuffs and before he did I asked him if he wanted to see a trick. He said ok. I slid my hands right out. Oh jelly hands. He started laughing and said, "You better not tell anyone that just happened!" He took all my jewelry and belongings. When he was entering it in to the computer I told him to "just write cheap. I won't be offended." He laughed at me a lot. He didn't even cuff me to the bench or shut the door when he went away. He made me laugh so much and in my mug shots I'm laughing. He said he was going to get shit for them. I made my one phone call to Mikey who told me they would be there in 15 minutes. This other asshole cop kept being such a dickhead. Nice cop actually stuck up for me. Thiago called when he was talking to me and I have him in my phone as "Sancheslopes". It was funny when the officer tried to read it. Then he had to put me in a cell. That was horrible. I was only there for like ten minutes, but it was the worst. I couldn't hear anything and I had no idea what time it was. Just waiting. Luckilly, I have awesome friends who were there super fast. The officer came and got me. He told me I was the most fun arrest ever. I didn't cry at all until I walked out and say Mikey, Danny, and Spencer all standing there. Then Mikey insisted that I could not cry because I had made it this far without doing so. I was good. I owe those dudes my soul. They really came through for me. You would not believe how many people got offended because I didn't call them. I think that's a little silly. It was clearly the most efficient way to do things. In any case, I do not think it is cool to get arrested, but I'm glad I was able to make the best of it.
I later found out that $500 of the bail paid was completely by accident. Again, a stupid paper pusher fucked up. Way to go legal system.
So yea.. moving on..
I officially got the job at Paychex today. I'm really excited about it! Everyone there is soooo awesome. I don't need to ever like a job, I just need to like the people I work with. I think I'll like the job itself though. I get all kinds of silly perks too. I get to work and carpool with steven lee which is also pretty sweet. Yay!
School is going really well. I never go. (Big surprise) You'd think someone like me could just get it done with already. I have a million credits, but that doesn't help me.
I was pleasantly surprised on valentine's day. Yes. It is a stupid holiday, but I like to feel like a girl and I did. I like him. Yes i do.
I'm in the middle of some stupid drama still. I don't understand it. Lisa tried to get me drunk so I would tell off this girl. It didn't work though. I just ended up sleeping at lisa's. Ah well. At least I'm honest about everything.
I have that huuuuuge career exam on friday. I am pretty much terrified. I'm val and I hate failing. I have prepared for it though. Not as much as they reccommend, but hopefully enough. I will be really upset if I fail it. It's too much pressure because everyone already thinks I'm a billion times smarter than I actually am.
I have a drug test tomorrow as well as a stat test. At least I know I'll pass the drug test. The stat test too. Yea. I also have a hair and dentist appointment. I like how it's all in pairs.
I need to get to study my pants off now. Here's to no pants.
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January 24th, 2007
03:58 am - here's the story...
So Rutgers has really big classes sometimes. I have meteorology for my science requirement and it is in a lecture hall. I had just spoken to mikey about the people with weird names in one of his classes. They were really funny and I thought my class could in no way top that. Boy was I wrong...
The room was pretty filled when I got there which is weird because I was early. I sit down towards the back next to some skinny, gay, artsy boy. There are three gross looking people behind me and two trl lovin girls to art boy's left. There is no one to my right. Behind me there is a goony looking girl and two nerdy boys around her. The dudes are taking turns making dirty comments to her and she is loving every second of it. It was actually really gross and me and art boy keep exchanging glances. The trl girl to his left keeps asking him a million and three stupid questions and he is being such a jerk to her.
"Is that a pen or a pencil?"
"Pen."
"OMG! That looks so awesome. Are you an art major?"
"No."
"What are you doing friday?"
"Don't know."
"okay. Well I think we're having a party, you should totally come."
"..."
"How does that sound?"
"No."
So I'm pretty amused. He keeps making faces at me. The lecture gets started and then I see him... what a beast of a man.
Now I would never make fun of someone for their weight. I only do this because he did before I wrote this. This man was about 40 years old. He weighed somewhere around 300lbs. He was bald with glasses and had on a tight pink dress shirt tucked into his pants. He reeks of fast food. He somehow manages to squeeze pass the guy at the end of the row and attempts to fit himself into the seat next to me. He is causing a scene. He keeps talking about his fat ass and how Rutgers is not accommodating to his fatass. He end up actually stretching the seat so that my desk has literally shifted about 5 inches to the left. His body parts are spewing over the armrest and I am clinging to gay art boy now. We both start laughing.
Recap: We now have orgy behind us. Annoying girls to the left. Overflow man to the right.
So this man starts making these horrible comments about how bad the professor is. He is speaking loud enough for the whole room, including the professor, to hear.
"Is this guy serious?"
"Snore."
"Boooorrrring!"
"I am too fat for this school."
All I kept thinking is, "This must be boiling points!"
It was not boiling points.
Art boy passes me a not that reads, "If you don't make this bitch shut up, I will punch her!"
We laugh.
Then finally, it's time for the break. Everyone gets up in our area except me, art boy, and one girl and guy from orgy. Orgy duo starts being all cute. I think they started kissing. Me and art boy talk about how absolutely crazy our seats are in the class. We were surrounded by weirdos!
TRL girl comes back with her spandex pants and fluffy boots. She passes me and then stops in front of his seat and sticks her GIGANTIC butt out toward his face. He turns to me, nods his head and then says something along the lines of, "you need to get your ass out of my face because it's really fucking disgusting."
I held my breath.
She responded with a high-pitched giggle. I was baffled. Even though he said it with such a cold stare, the girl loved it! I so thought he was getting slapped. I start to laugh and she gives me a dirty look. Of course. Always.
So class starts again and dude next to me starts making his comments. This time he drags me into it. He starts telling me I'm wasting my time taking notes because the professor is an idiot. He is so loud that the professor stops the lesson to tell him he has the option to leave.
Class ends and me and art boy walk out together and vow to be earlier next week. We will sit in the front and surround ourselves with belongings so no one can penetrate. What a bizarre class.
The End.
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January 22nd, 2007
03:35 am - can i tell you?
I've been having the greatest time ever with my family. I don't know how it's happening. Today we played some stupid game where everyone gets a paper and you write a sentence and then pass it to your right. You don't see what anyone else has written. Then you read it. Ghetto mad libs, I guess. It was sooo much fun! Here's the end of one. Each line is a different person not knowing what the previous person wrote. The theme was restaurant.
I dropped my fork and everyone stared.
Seven other people got sick that night.
We looked at the check, in our wallets, and at each other, and had one collective thought..
The soup was cold, the chicken was dry, and don't even get me started on the waitress.
She actually ran out with the napkin tucked into her shirt still.
So on that note, don't eat the catfish.
I don't know. This probably sounds real dumb. I was laughing soooo hard. I have been laughing so hard for days. I think my life is fun and funny.
I think I have a new job opportunity. I have to fix up my school schedule in order for it to work properly. Tomorrow is my last chance to fix it. I think I'll do it. The job sounds promising.
I should be more tired than I am. I haven't been sleeping the best lately.
I really love ost. A lot of people get sick of it, but it's like that neighborhood bar. And you know what? They DO always know my name and they ARE always glad I came. Always. I never spend much money there and I'm always surrounded by people I like. I can't complain.
I have too many friends and not enough time. I feel like I always have a ridiculous amount of options. I'm more open minded about things these days too. Not drugs though. Mostly because I smoke clowns like you on the B-ball court. That's mostly it.
I feel soooo silly right this second. I wish someone would do silly things with me. I want to walk somewhere really far away. Well, not like Canada. I'm thinking a couple towns over. Everyone kept saying it was so cold. I didn't feel cold though. I thought it was nice.
I did something bad! I ran over ANOTHER cat! I cried for real this time. I tried to find it, even though I know I didn't want to see it. Stupid route 9 south exit. I was turning around because I missed the exit. I am an evil woman. Evil.
I really, really, really feel like I'm just so filled with excitement right now and I have absolutely no one or nothing to use it on. What a waste. I'm going to watch a movie and dance at the same time.
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January 21st, 2007
03:18 pm - It's how you say it
All I want to do today is sit back and watch numerous episodes of scrubs and eat food and be fat and lazy. That's all I ask. Is this a downward spiral? Nah. I don't think so. I've definitely earned my lazy time. Yes I have.
Okay. So Medieval Times was really awesome. I'm so glad Tim was next to me. We were really rowdy. Our night was hot. I got a the flower that I've wanted since someone stole mine in fifth grade. While this part of my night was pretty great, I had no idea how great it was going to get..
Tim and I had talked about going to jenk's. We get to my house and don't really feel like it. Instead we find a large box/ poster thing with chris rock on my front lawn. We took the best pictures ever invented with it. I'd put them here, but none of them are on my camera. Then we played board games. I really love my family. (side note: my family pretty much includes zach and tim)
Oh yea! My mom was WASTED! It was the greatest thing ever. Throughout the show she kept making comments to Jackie. When we were leaving, there was a dance floor and I said, "Go ahead mom. I know you want to dance." She responds with, "You know I get the ants in my pants!" So I was laughing from that and trying to tell jackie at the same time and my mother got sooooo embarrassed and denied it. Then she sang some weird song to us on the way home. It was entertaining. I will be my mom's designated driver and day of the week.
Since I have left Applebee's, I talk to way more people than I thought I would. I feel so popular. It's cool. I'll always remember that as the job that changed my life. Yes I will.
My bill paying skills are so bad this month. I don't buy things anymore. That's good.
I like that I'm not really confused anymore. I'm so much in season right now. I know where I stand though. It's a nice feeling. I never saw it coming. No clue. That's why this whole thing wins. Totally wins. Vague enough for you? Good.
My favorite planet is Mercury.
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January 16th, 2007
02:48 am - cold as ice.
I don't even understand what the hell is going on. I feel like things just keep getting more and more crazy. Did you ever just sit there and anlyze things and wonder how you got to that specific moment? I did that tonight. A lot. I am a little too nice to people. I am especially nice to people that are insecure. When I sense someone is uncomfortable I try my best to make them feel good. This explains why I have the most bizarre situations with guys. You name it, it's happened to me. I don't understand how a person can be so incredibly persisitent when you have made it clear, numerous times, that it's not happening. I don't mean to sound like a bitch either, it just always happens. Not because I'm a super babe or because I'm a super slut... just because I'm not mean enough. If I am interested in you, you may have to do some work, but you'll know one way or another. I'm pretty good about not sending mixed signals once attempts are made. That's all I have to say about that.
Tune in next week.
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January 14th, 2007
04:08 pm - who knows?
I started writing all sorts of nonsense here. Then I realized it was in no way interesting and it never would be.
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January 11th, 2007
11:05 pm - yea...
I might not be 100% happy with my life right now, but I'm pretty close.
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January 6th, 2007
02:21 pm - they only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute..
Hi!
I'm pretty sure that despite my job not being the coolest, I'm happy. I can't even be upset about the job. I have the most interviews set up for next week. At least one of them has to work.
I like jenk's. Just thought I'd put that out there. I used to hate it and now everytime I go I have the best time ever. I think it's because I have really fun friends.
I have a new interest. It is fun and awesome and unexpected. I think that always adds to the excitement.
My brother's band is practicing in the basement. I can't wait until they're done. My ears hurt. Is that mean? Probably.
I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. It's weird when your friends are having babies. It's weird when your friends are getting married too. I'm not ready to be a grown up. I just learned how to walk in heels!
My hypothetical situation game has gotten out of control. My favorite one that I can remember is going outside with felicia about a month ago to throw away garbage. Somehow there was a chair near the door that was not there when we walked outside. I said "What would you do if you just looked at that chair and there was an ancient woman sitting there?" She replies with, "Old Grandma Higgens! Nooooo!" Then we ran out front frantically flailing and screaming. Everyone looked terrified when we made it to the front. That was cool.
That reminds me of another stupid game I used to play at Applebee's. When I would work on the bar I used to wear low cut shirts. I would walk through the kitchen and put my finger in my cleavage. Everytime a guy looked I would punch them and call them a pervert. Everytime a girl would look I would call them a lesbian whore and ask them if they wanted to kiss me. Yea. It was pretty much the best game ever.
I'm a big mess of silly thoughts these days.
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January 5th, 2007
02:12 am - oh boy.
Truth be told: I hate my new job. I shouldn't say I hate it actually. I really like the work that I do. The pay is pretty sweet. The hours are great. They send me home whenever I'm done so I'm usually in my bed napping by 3. Even the drive in is pretty nice. (I can get there in under an hour) It's the stupid assholes that I work with that make it miserable. They are all sexist assholes that treat me like a secretary. They talk about my butt. They talk about all the chicks they nail. I hate them. I got another job offer, but it's not until march. Ugh. I don't know what I'm doing. You will never find me back at Applebee's..that's for sure. I just wish the transition was smoother.
FUN FACT: I wake up at 5am every morning. It's 2:14. This shows how much I really care.
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December 23rd, 2006
06:24 am - why my life is so sweet...
20 reasons why tonight ruled so much:
(try not to get jealous)
1. I left Applebee's today. Officially done. I only cried for about 2.3 seconds, then I realized... why cry? Everyone that I genuinely care about I will still talk to.
2. I made more money than I have ever made in one bar shift.
3. I got to work with Rosa and she was the one who trained me on the bar. This was crucial.
4. I got drunk, like seriously drunk, at work. You might think this is lame, I thought it was crazy. I've never done anything that badass in my entire life. All the servers looked out for me and the best buy guys kept buying me shots.
5. I got 11 phone number in one night. 11! It was really bizarre. I didn't even look cute today and it kept coming out of nowhere. (sidenote: this one guy left a $50 tip on a $50 bill with his phone number on the credit slip. Rosa accidentally closed it out to 0 so we had to call him back in to get his credit card back. I felt bad because I could tell he was way embarrassed. That is pretty embarrassing...)
6. Mo came in for a special visit and gave me this whole card with all this really nice stuff in it and it was really sweet.
7. Jackie and my mom came in to visit which is really nice.
8. Theresa came in and gave me a gift which included a hat that resembles natalie portman's work helmet in garden state. When I opened it she said "this is why you'll be fine at your new job!" I'm guess this refers to the time I passed out at work. For the record, it was not awesome.
9. Thiago wrote a stupid song for me. I assisted with some sick nasty backups.
10. Spencer told me how I have changed his life. He called me his boy. That's cool.
11. Jorge, a busboy, gave me this card and there was a picture from halloween in it and he wrote in english. He barely speaks english, so he had to find someone to translate for him. I found out later that he walked out, but before he left he made sure to give me the card. What a sweetheart.
12. This guy took my garbage out for me and as he went to throw it away the bag broke and glass fell out and cut his elbow. He tried to keep it a secret because he knows how much I hate elbows. He wins three times because he took out the garbage for me, he prevented me from hurting my elbow, and he kept it a secret from me so I wouldn't freak out.
13. When I first came in me and mikey were making drinks. He dropped his shaker and I dropped my glass at the same exact time. My glass shattered, his shaker was fine. We laughed a lot.
14. I walked out feeling like I would be genuinely missed.
15. Everyone sang to me. I got super shy and awkward. It was right in the middle of the restaurant in front of everyone!
16. Some lady started screaming, I didn't know it was your birthday! She kept giving me high five's as I tried to explain that it was not my birthday.
17. I didn't have to clean the bar. We paid someone to do some of it and Rosa did the rest.
18. I never got my secret santa gift! This is not awesome, however, I just realized it now. That's messed up.
19. I had the single most awesome bar crowd tonight. Not one person complained and by the end of the night I was making mistakes all over the place. They chanted my name. It was cool.
20. I made some really amazing friends at that job. There's something about that place that just brings people together. I'm confident that I've made life long friends there and that's just feels nice.
So yea, I'm in a pretty good mood. That doesn't even include the awesome time I had last night. Ryan Costello hung out with me in New Brunswick, so that was pretty spectacular. I got Spencer in on the Come on Eilleen kickline. Who knew? Tayzia is just one of my favorites and I never have a bad time with her. We went drunken Christmas carolling through new brunwick at 3am. I think that's pretty fun. I wasn't drunk actually. I'm always the driver there for some reason. I'm okay with that.
Wow, I'm tired and I had no idea how late it was. Good night.
I still love livejournal. Never myspace. I don't know why. It is what it is, I suppose.
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November 29th, 2006
04:45 am - wow! what a difference...
My life is going to be completely different in about a month. It's really crazy. I'm going to have a real job, free school, my first actuarial exam passed (hopefully), and a couple other wild pursuits are in progress. I feel like I'm ready to be a real person. I don't know how it happened.
I've been having the time of my life lately. It's going to be so hard to leave applebee's. I've met so many amazing people because of that job. It's a little awkward too because there's certain people that you just accept the relationship you have with them as only existing in that time frame. I mean, I guess I could hang out with a fifty year old woman, but it's just different now. I know there's a lot of people that I will talk to forever, but there's some that I'm going to lose, just because that's how it has to be. I know I bring something to that place that no one else does. I know I'm going to cry. It's inevitable. I had to go eventually though..
Aside from just the people I work with, I have all these people that come in just to see me. I have bar guests that love me and that's just really great. I realized it more today. I picked up a host shift for my brother and at any given moment someone that had come in was just standing there talking to me. I like that people refer to me as their favorite bartender. I hope people come in for my last day.
I've been having a really bizarre issue lately. This one came completely out of left field. I am cautious and confused. I don't remember being so caught off guard by myself. I mean, I guess we'll see what happens. I'm very let it ride... but I think this mind state might not work out so well in this situation.
I think the AC visits need to stop for awhile. At least not twice a week. I'm on a losing streak. No good. I had a really good time last night though. I'm totally not that girl that likes to be the only girl, but somehow it always happens. I never even realize how outnumbered I am. I'm always the girl that every guy's girlfriend is cool with. That's good because I really hate when people cheat and that just makes it easy all around. I though I was just a not girl around jackson township...but apparently the rule is in effect worldwide. I need to meet a girl that will play spanish21 with me.
Gross sidenote: Somehow I ended up curled up on a hotel bed at the gallery with a hoodie on covering my face to avoid contact with disgusting sex juices. Gross. I will never let spencer decide where we are going again.
I just really want to keep having a good time until jan 2nd. That's when I start the new job, so I feel like I have a limited amount of time to be an idiot. Help me be an idiot!
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November 2nd, 2006
02:56 am - just one little thought...
I have a million things to say, but one issue keeps looming over my head.
Okay. So I go this scholarship for taking this test that basically tells me I'm sort of smart. I have a whole year of free school now. The problem is this..
I never, ever, ever, EVER go to class. When I mean never, I mean that I go for tests and to hand in homework. That's it. I have some exceptional professors this semester, but I feel like school is really a waste of time. I know it sounds really conceited, but I'd rather spend my time doing other things. I have yet to get back any grades other than A's. I feel like when I sit there in class I could be doing so many more productive things with my time. It feels wrong. I see these people freaking out before exams that I know they've studied weeks for and I just walk in, sit down, and rock it out. I'm getting all the glory without any of the work. That's math though. I feel nearly invincible when it comes to math. That's a pretty horrible attitude. All I know is that I could spend 80 minutes in transit and 16 hours in class every week. I don't at all. I feel ridiculously advanced for every one of my classes and it really doesn't make sense. I'm at the end of the road. The super hard classes, I guess. I'm just coasting through like it's nothing. I know it's more good than bad. It just feels wrong. I'm getting things I didn't earn. I don't know why this feels like such a dilemma to me. Whatever. This is like complaining about winning the lottery. I just feel a little bad knowing that my school is paid for and I'm not going to class.
PS I got the internship at trump marina working in the finance department. It doesn't start until the summer and I have until march 31st to decide if I want to take it. I am going to take it though. I'm pretty sure. Unless I find something closer with similar pay. Say word.
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September 29th, 2006
01:07 pm - i was just thinking...
I was in class earlier and for some reason I was reviewing my life. I was thinking about my friends and how happy I am to have them. I don't fight with anyone and if anything bad ever happens, I know I have a million people to support me. Not only that, I have different friends for different purposes. Sometimes I think I'm really lucky to have met the people I know. Yes.
Aside from that, I think it should be stated that I always know a little more than people think. It's weird to hear someone flat out keep telling the same lies over and over again. I feel like I'm winning for smiling through it because it really doesn't bother me so much. I hate lies. I know that every now and then everyone has to tell a little lie. I guess that's okay. I wish your nose really did grow whenever you told a lie.
I need to start getting ready for work now. I really want to go to AC on monday. Anyone want to come with me? Let me know. I get done with class at 3.
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September 20th, 2006
01:30 am - guess what?
I won a $10,000 scholarship and it is completely based on my brains. My last year of school is all paid for. It feels damn good.
I've been sleeping all day. I wasn't feeling well. I woke up about an hour ago, so I'll never sleep tonight.
I miss my friends. I was planning on seeing lorraine tonight, but I slept the night away. Whenever I'm in school I have no time for people. I hate it.
I've heard lies about myself. It's pretty cool when people completely make up entire stories. Tayzia has proven herself to be an amazing friend. She told me things I was never meant to know and because of her I don't have to look like an asshole. For someone to put themselves on the line like that for a friend is just really impressive. I always end up being in this same situation with people. I don't understand it. Some people will just never grow up. I hate liars. I really do.
I really need to make more of an effort to be a good friend to tayzia. I know she really needs me right now. I'm being sort of crappy to everyone. I feel like everyone is sort of down, but she never is. I know she needs me, even though she thinks she doesn't need anyone.
I've been ACing it up. I've kept track for the last 5 times I went. I'm up $40. No complaints. I like playing poker a lot now. It makes me feel good when I win a hand because no one ever sees it coming. I get nervous when I'm at the same table as thiago though. He taught me how to play so I feel like he'll be disappointed if I play a bad hand. He's the best AC partner though.
Work has been slowing down. I don't even care. Whatever.
I played some play station hockey game with steve and tom today. We lost. Three times. We get so into it. It's funny when steve just starts screaming like a maniac. Here's a secret: my family is the most fun.
Alright. I guess it's try to sleep time. Yes.
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September 4th, 2006
03:03 pm - oh no she didn't...
I still like live journal. I don't care what anyone says. I've got five years of my life here. I like that.
Going to AC again tonight. I started keeping track of my AC winnings and losses. I started the last time I went, so I'm up 440. We'll see what happens tonight. I'm feeling good. That's usually a good sign.
I got killed at work last night. Well, that's a lie. I'm still alive. I was super busy and I made money. It doesn't make me feel bad to spend money in AC when I know that I had the best week ever at work. My weekend bar shifts will finally rule starting next week. Theresa and I did exceptional on firday though. We're a great duo.
I can't wait to go back to school. I love school, really. I don't want to ever have a real job. I want to just learn for the rest of my life.
I need to get myself together. Yea, that's a good idea.
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August 26th, 2006
04:44 am - in your face
I won $440 today. Hate me.
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